The Proper Pooch

Dancing Merengue Dog

2010-09-11T15:10:00.000-07:00

Lost Pet - There Is An App For That!

2010-08-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

If you find a lost dog, cat, or any animal for that matter! Or, if heaven forbid your pet gets lost, there is an app for that! Really smart and ingenious tool and it is FREE! Check it out HERE.

Please Fight Puppy Mills!!

2010-08-13T22:03:00.001-07:00

HERE is some info on how you can fight puppy mills.

Are You Looking To Move With Your Pet?

2010-08-13T22:02:00.000-07:00

Here are some tips on how to find pet friendly rentals and what to do BEFORE signing the lease.

Hilarious Craigslist Add For a Vindictive Cat!

2010-08-11T11:52:00.000-07:00

portland craigslist > multnomah co > community > pets

please flag with care:

miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist

Vindictive Cat free to home (portland)

Date: 2010-08-08, 11:13AM PDT
Reply to: comm-henkv-1887485653@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

This Cat is 12 years old. It is very cute and has a long tail, so it will look good sitting in your window while you are away!

It has two looks on it's face at all times 1) surprise. 2) angry glare. It has always been vindictive and angry. It will shred your arms to the bone if picked up, so handling is not advisable. Cat will use litter box only once and then considers it soiled and will choose your chair (or elsewhere) instead. Free *1 month supply/ 5 gallon bucket of Nature's Miracle* will accompany Cat to new home. Cat hates other animals and children and people so please be an animal free and kid free and spouse/friend/roommate free home. Cat can only live with one Person. Cat hates for Person to have other people over, so you shouldn't have friends or it will pee in their purse or on their shoes. Person should be strong of mind and body and not at home much, as cat is not into interaction. Interaction with it's Person makes Cat angry, and it will vomit on your pillow in retaliation.

Cat hates to be inside too long, but will not go through doors as it hates doorways. You must chase it outside with clacking salad tongs. Cat's *favorite salad tongs will be provided for free* and will accompany Cat to new home. Cat hates to be outdoors for too long as it prefers to pee, poop and vomit on your things, it likes to do this to claim it's Person (this Person could be you!). Cat will come inside easily at dinnertime, no salad tongs necessary. Cat will vomit once during, and up to three times after dinner, usually on pillow, duvet, or laundry. Sometimes it will vomit in doorways. Sometimes it will just poop in these places. Other places Cat will poop: in front of refrigerator, in front of windows, near the litterbox, in front of teevee, on top of you if you are around for too long. Cat should not have access to any bathrooms as it hates bathmats and will destroy them on sight with a barrage of pee and poop and finally clawing it to shreds. Other things Cat will claw to shreds: arms, face, carpet, pillow, chair, laundry.

Cat has a loud obnoxious yowl to indicate when it is angry. The yowl is akin to that of a rabid zombie on the make and is quite terrifying, so you would be well advised to take heed and figure out what Cat wants. If you haven't cleaned the litterbox in less than an hour, check that first. It may want you to provide running drinking water from the faucet. It WILL get on the counters, you should not interfere or you WILL be sorry. If yowling occurs between the hours of Noon and 7:00 pm, it may require feeding. Cat will attack you for your food, so it is not advisable to eat in the house. If not fed what you are eating, Cat will knock the dishes off the table in retaliation and eat the shards of glass and porcelain that fall, so that you will be required to take it to the vet. It likes the attention from the vet. Cat will look sweet and pitiful at vet's office, and as I said before, Cat is very cute. No one will believe when you try to tell them what Cat is capable of, so don't try. They will look at you as if you are the problem. I will understand your situation and you can call me in an emergency to talk about Cat. * 1 year of free consulting and phone support * comes with Cat. I will not be available in person for support, Cat will not like it and it will escalate situation.

Other things to be aware of with Cat. Cat has LONG hair and is prone to fur balls and the vomiting of hairy, slimy bits. This can not be helped. Cat hates any glass of drinking water to be left about and will drink from it and knock it over. You should not drink water from glasses. Cat does not like for it's Person to sleep. It will walk/stand on your face with one razor sharp claw in your nostril and yowl like a zombie, so you would be well advised to stay awake and always be ready to attend to Cat. Cat weaves evil spells and makes hexes. Many do not believe this is true, but I am convinced of this fact. Cat will place spells on you while you sleep or read or watch teevee.

I think that is the bulk of the information I can provide about Cat. Cat is up to date on shots, sterilized and is physically healthy, it should live on for several more years. Please bring heavy cloth sack, a metal box or crate, face protection (I use a hockey goalie helmet) and long leather gloves when coming to pick up Cat. I will not be available to assist in transporting Cat.

Thanks for looking.

EDIT WORTHY OF NOTE: Updating ad to clarify that Cat is not abused. Cat is LOVED... from a safe distance, we are experienced animal people. You must love Cat or you will not make it long. Cat has always been uptight and has never been the subject of an abusive situation. We actively love Cat. Look how cute!! But it is hard. We do not abuse Cat with clacking tongs. Cat needs a lot of encouragement to go out, and hates when you have tongs...so free tongs for you...use them as you will. No, we didn't let Cat eat shards of glass, but Cat would eat the shards if not herded off. Cat does look cute and act innocent for vet. I really didn't expect anyone to come forward to take Cat given the extent of the disclosure I have given. Offers will be the subject of careful, but unlikely, consideration given the only people who would possibly want this Cat are going to sell the poor animal to a lab or have 100 other Cats at home. We have tried it all and consulted with consultants. The cat is 12 years old for crying out loud! We are tired. If you have the perfect situation, and you know how to deal with a Cat like this one, and you are sane, write a proposal and we will give it careful scrutiny.

For those giving free advice, please bring it on! will welcome ideas - provided you know something of what you are talking about. Here's the skinny: Cat has been in care of current owner since kittenhood. Cat was in an apartment fire once - it was next door but you know, chaos and trauma ensued. Cat has always been "particular" unless in the EXACT RIGHT situation, which is with ONE Person and an "always open and never closed" Cat door to outside area. Cat will not push open a flap...hates doorways. NO other pets (poops in their food bowls). And being always catered to as if in slight fear of Cat. We have 4 cat boxes, each cleaned every day, not enough for Cat. Yes, we've tried the water fountain from Sky Mall magazine, Cat hates the fountain. Cat wants a personal fresh mountain stream or a constantly running tap. Given ALL of these things consistently, Cat will occasionally cuddle with knees at bedtime and purr loudly...lest you move with the intention to do ANYTHING. Cat will then flick the tail in your face and as I said, the tail is very long. Or Cat will pound on the bathroom door to attack the bathmat, or later in the night, your laundry (or worse). Cat is female. Cat never forgets a slight and her slights are many. She's just a weird Cat, physically healthy, gets regular checkups with vet to prove it. We have 4 other very healthy, contented and happy pets.

Thanks everyone for your concerns. Cat probably thanks you too in her way.

Location: portland
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1887485653

2010-08-05T22:54:00.001-07:00

Dogs from the Gulf Oil Spill up for Adoption - http://ow.ly/2lPwP

Federal Officer shot Husky in Dog Park

2010-08-05T22:35:00.000-07:00

Absolutely tragic! An example of police abusing their authority. Read HERE.

#1 Toxic Plant for Cats!

2010-08-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

This common and beautiful flower is the #1 toxic plant for cats! Read HERE.

Dogs from the Gulf Oil Spill up for Adoption

2010-08-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

Read about it HERE. Adopt one for yourself!

Avoid Scams and Puppy Mills!

2010-08-03T22:15:00.000-07:00

Fight animal cruelty and don't support puppy mills! Check your local shelters and read HERE how to avoid scams.

Keep Your Pets Cool in the Summer

2010-08-03T22:12:00.000-07:00

Some tips on how to keep your animal cool on hot summer days. Read HERE.

Heat/Cold Therapy Product That is Great!

2010-08-03T22:08:00.000-07:00

This is a great product for dogs who have muscle and joint problems. Very easy and made well! Check it out HERE.

Is Your Dog Afraid of Thunderstorms?

2010-08-02T21:57:00.000-07:00

Here are some suggestions if your dog is afraid of thunderstorms.

Dog's IQ Equal to 2 Year Old Toddler

2010-08-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

Can you believe dogs are smarter than toddlers? IQ test prove it! I always said that sometimes I feel like my dogs are like having perpetual 2 year olds. I was right! Read about it HERE.

Stem Cell Treatments for Animals

2010-08-02T21:51:00.000-07:00

Here is an interesting article on veterinarians using stem cells to treat animals with degenerative arthritis.

Killing Us Softly 4: Advertising's Image of Women [Trailer]

2010-08-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

Non-Toxic Plants For Your Pets

2010-07-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

HERE is a list of plants that are non-toxic to your pets. Follow the link on the page to a list of which plants ARE toxic for your furry friends.

Help stop these 202 chimps from being turned over to biomedical research by our own government!

2010-07-29T20:22:00.000-07:00

The transfer of 202 government-owned chimpanzees to a biomedical research laboratory is already underway -- and we need your help to halt this move. Click HERE to help!

Virtual Pet Behaviorist -Get pet-behavior advice from ASPCA experts 24 hours a day

2010-07-26T21:48:00.000-07:00

Get advice on your dog, cat, or horse HERE!

Pet food recall of Iams cat food!

2010-07-26T21:34:00.001-07:00

Read the details HERE

ASPCA | Animal Poison Control FAQ

2010-07-23T15:34:00.000-07:00

Here is a link to some good information if you think that your dog or cat might have gotten into something they shouldn't have. Read Here :)

Cutest Adoptable Pet of the Day: Meet miniature poodle Peter. Give him a home!

2010-07-21T16:52:00.001-07:00

Meet Peter here :)

Read this before flying with your short snouted friends (dogs that is!)

2010-07-21T16:48:00.000-07:00

Read Here!

Help the Gulf's Abandoned Pets

2010-07-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

Gulf's abandoned pets find forever homes!! If you have any room in your heart and home help one of these poor loving animals find a place to call their own. If you can't, think about fostering or donating to the local shelters to help out. Watch This for info!

Recycle Please!!!

2010-07-19T15:57:00.000-07:00

Here is the first part in a series of three episodes which explains why recycling and biodegradable plastics are so important. They are so right when they say if we can't see it then it is not there. Well guess what, it is!! This is one of the main principles behind The Proper Pooch. I want people to actually be aware of what fun little items they are getting for their furry friends and how it is going to effect the world we live in. I don't want to see any of my products out in this toxic island! Watch Here!

My Inspiration

2010-07-17T00:07:00.000-07:00

Cats vs. Dogs - Which one do you think wins?

2010-07-15T16:32:00.000-07:00

I watched and interesting report this morning in regards to cats versus dogs. It was comparing the cost of owning each. Who do you think comes out the winner? Cats vs.Dogs

The first blog......

2010-07-14T23:44:00.000-07:00

First I want to welcome everyone to The Proper Pooch's blog! I have to admit I am a little foreign to this so hang in there with me while I ride the learning curve.

I am pretty excited we finally got something up on the website today. Check it out and let me know what you think! www.properpoochla.com. I will take any feedback I can get.

Well it is late and I am signing off for now. Goodnight!